What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 27.06.2025 08:04
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
But ive been too sick for many years..
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
The Easiest Way to Lower Cortisol, According to a Longevity Expert - Vogue
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
She married twice! .
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
What drove the tech right’s — and Elon Musk’s — big, failed bet on Trump - vox.com
But, we were locked up after school.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
John Cena cuts pipe bomb promo towards CM Punk at the end of WWE Smackdown - NoDQ.com
Im dying but, im not bitter.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Weather makers: How microbes living in the clouds affect our lives - BBC
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
She found it foreign!.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
One Of The Rarest Video Games Ever Has Been Preserved Online - GameSpot
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
So whats the point in blame.
I was seconnd youngest,
Erin Patterson tells murder trial exotic mushrooms 'have more flavour' - BBC
We all went to grammer schools
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
So, i spoilt her more .
I never cut or harmed myself..
I was 9 years of age.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
I said to her
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
All the time i was locked up.
'Materialists': Celine Song on Dating and Sex and the City's Influence - IndieWire
One cannot live in the past .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Over 46,000 Grafana instances exposed to account takeover bug - BleepingComputer
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
What is the best way to get my wife to become a hotwife?
Comes on , in middle age.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Fans slam Gearbox CEO Randy Pitchford's message to "cost sensitive" fans - Eurogamer
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
He knew the spot.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I write beautiful poetry .
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
She loved him until the end.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Why did i forgive my father ?
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I couldn’t, believe it.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I will be 64.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
He resisted the act ,that day.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Im still living with it.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
When she asked me how she looked .
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I was very sick at this time too.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I don,t even have a pension.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Ive learnt so much.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
What did i know ?
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
My family never makes their pension either.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
We were not on the streets..
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I think the readers, may guess!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
As i do to all so called friends.?
Would this be the day?
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I waited trembling.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
(And it was in our own minds.)
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
She was in good health!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I was scared of men, in general
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
But it wasn’t much.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
It was going to be , some day.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Especially a lifetime of it.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
This is soul school!.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
The only rule us 5 kids had .
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Was to survive, this bastard.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
My life is so biszare .
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
She wouldn,t have been !
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Put me off passion for life!!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Who then, do I blame.?
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
And i lived it daily.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I have no regrets .